Chasing pavement

I found no place to vent out.
Many thoughts that go hay-wire in my mind.
It starts from "What am I doing in my life?".

I'm tired.
Why can't it be simple & let go so easily.
How I wish I could take things easy.

Motivation.
I see no motivation. I see no future & development.
If someone could feel me..., how deeply....

Expectation.
I set an expectation to myself to hang on for a while,
yet I know that I couldn't hang on to my "given expectation".
Everytime, I feel demoralised & disguise, if putting in my own shoes.
I realised I lose myself.

I wish that someone will slap directly to my face to wake me up.

So... that comes to emotional breakdown.

Learn to let go.
I want to let go & be like others.
I decided to give up.
Yet, it is hard to say out in the word of mouth, putting the appropriate words & reasoning out.

There is no opportunity given for me to say.
I''m waiting for the right time, stituation & opportunity to say out.
Everyone are like fighting a battle.
If I gave up, it feels like 1 less people to fight with a battle.
I feel so sorry.

It is sad when I know the longer it drags for me to stay, the longer the days I've to hang on.
I left with a stone in my heart, that yet to be told.

Hidden.
I could only just hide my feelings & show that I'm fine.

Be simple.
I just want to do the things that I like,
be it others might think that I'm naive to give up so early.

I didn't give up, I choose to move on to experience more things & new people than to stay on in this "disguise" comfort zone.