You know how much I really want to fly out of the cage- for a new environment.
Do you feel that how sad it is & how terrible to hang on when in the verge of tear.
I wonder if I left, will they still appreciate me & will there be even someone better to replace and mingle well..
I've tried enough, I got hurtful bite & I could not force to please everyone.
Recently, I even see the picture more clearly that the word "outcasted" will always be there.
I understand that draw a line & I don't joke as much from now because it always draw a line & be serious in me.
It's really feel utterly sad & I feel so weak, disappointed in myself.
I start to lose interests & a failure of me cos I didn't expect to have this feeling and expected to hang on for long. but now, I'm dragging myself just like a body of me without a soul from sunrise to sunset.
My perception of the people change me, which I feel ugly in a way.
It's like a game. I want to end this game fast but I need to hang on for it...
because I'm still waiting for a time opportunity to help me fly out of the cage.
& the question is "How long more.... ".
volume on & drown me away from deep deep thoughts.
I'm tired.
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